Looks bad on resume cover letters

1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.3. I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.4. I know where you live.5. Any sentence beginning with "I was recently acquitted." 6. I'm really tall, so I think I'd be well suited to this job.7. Happy faces.8. By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters.9. I'm confident that I'll get this job. The voices told me.