Women's translations

WOMEN?S LANGUAGE TRANSLATEDYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoI?m sorry. = You?ll be sorry.We need...
= I wantIt?s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want...
= You?ll pay for this later. We need to talk...
= I need to complain Sure...
go ahead = I don?t want you to.I?m not upset = Of course I?m upset, you moron! You?re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You?re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = ...
and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
.. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I?m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you?re really not going to like.I?ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.Am I fat? = Tell me I?m beautiful.You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you?re dead.Was that the baby? = Why don?t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. In response to What?s wrong?:The same old thing = NothingNothing = EverythingNothing, really = It?s just that you?re such an idiot!