12 Things NOT to Say if Pulled Over

12. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?11. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!10. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?9. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.8. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.7. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece.6. Want to race to the station, Sparky?5. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!4. On the way to the station let's get a six pack.3. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!2. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!1. No, YOU assume the position.