A bunch of better idiots!

These "Weird Reference Questions" are from the Library Paraprofessionals Listserv. All of these are real and provide proof that a "better idiot" can be invented." Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?" "Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual title: "Satanic Verses")"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?" "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?" hahahaha...
what a bone head!"Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?" hmmm...
I don't recollect any camera-toting cavemen...
do you?" I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck." (No...
that's your brain miss-firing.)"I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months." (I know...
how about shooting yourself? That would get you life in prison!)"I need a color photograph of George Washington." (Ok...
hold on...
I'll check with the caveman...
)"Is the basement upstairs?" (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk) This one gets the golden stupidity award!