Demerit Point System Used by Women.

DEMERIT POINT SYSTEM USED BY WOMEN(The code is finally broken - the demerit system is no longer a mystery!) For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance and relationship responsibilities, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...
Sorry, but that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed...
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.. 1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...
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0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...
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   - 1 You leave the toilet seat up...
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   - 5 You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty...
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0 When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...
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   - 1 When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom.
   - 2 You check out a suspicious noise at night ...
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.0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...
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0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...
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5 You pummel it with a six iron...
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10SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party...
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..0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy...
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-2 Named Tiffany...
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   - 4 Tiffany is a dancer...
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   - 6 Tiffany has implants...
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-8HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner...
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.0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ...
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1 Okay, it is a sports bar...
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   - 2 And it's all-you-can-eat night...
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   - 3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team...
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   - 10THOUGHTFULNESS You forget her birthday completely...
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-20 You forget your anniversary...
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   - 30 You forget to pick her up at the bus station...
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   - 45 Which is in Newark, New Jersey...
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   - 50 And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast...
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-60A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie...
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2 You take her to a movie she likes...
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.. 4 You take her to a movie you hate ...
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.. 6 You take her to a movie you like...
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-2 It's called DeathCop3...
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   - 3 Which features cyborgs having sex...
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   - 9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...
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   - 15FLOWERS You buy her flowers only when it's expected...
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..0 You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it ...
.. 20 You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself ...
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. 30 And she contracts Lyme disease...
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   - 25YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly...
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-15 You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it.. 1 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ...
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-30 You say "I don't care because you have one too" ...
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-800FINANCES You spend a lot of money on something impractical...
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-5 Something she can't use...
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   - 10 Such as a motorized model airplane...
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-20 And she got a small appliance for her birthday...
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-40DRIVING You lost the directions on a trip...
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   - 4 You lost the directions and end up getting lost...
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   - 10 You don't stop to ask directions ...
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..0 You stop and ask for directions ...
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. 25 You end up getting lost in a bad part of town ...
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   - 15 You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal...
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   - 25 You know them...
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   - 60THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" ...
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   - 5 (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit) You hesitate in responding...
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   - 10 You reply, "Where?" ...
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   - 35COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression...
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..0 When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes...
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5 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.. 10 She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...
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