Puns by the Pound!

Q: what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow-job...
Q: Did you hear about the queer burglar?
A: He couldn't blow the safe do he went down on the elevator...
Q: Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?
A: Because you get a womb with a view...
Q: Why are eggs so frusterated?
A: Because they only get laid once, they only get eaten once, and you've gotta boil them to get them hard...
Q: Where do you get virgin wool?
A: From ugly sheep...
Q: What did Adam say to Eve?
A: Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets...
Q: Did you hear about the deaf gynecoligist?
A: He had to learn how to read ilps...
Q: Why are chickens so ugly?
A: You'd be ugly too if you had a pecker hanging out your forehead...
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Cause they dont know the words...
Q: Where are an elephant's sex organs?
A: In his feet- if he steps on you you're fucked...
Q: How do you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: If she farts, her ankles will swell...
Q: What's the ulitmate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep...
Q: How do you know when an elephant's been fucking in your garage?
A: Your Hefty bags are missing...