A man's translations

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"IT'S A GUY THING"Translated:
   * "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated:
   * "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"Translated:
   * Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response." IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"Translated:
   * "I have no idea how it works." "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated:
   * "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated:
   * "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated:
   * "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every carI've ever owned...
but I forgot your birthday." "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated:
   * "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Translated:
   * "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated:
   * "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated:
   * "What did you catch me at?" "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated:
   * "No one will ever see us alive again." "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Translated:
   * "I make the messes; she cleans them up."